A Yacht and a Sailboat (Part Deux)

So it's 5:30 a.m. and I am awaken by a ring from my phone. Remember that friend I
told you about who had that little sailboat (maybe not little) situation, well apparently the plot thickens.

Ok, I totally do not encourage entering relationships with strangers but it gets boring in the winter time. To be honest, the situation should have been squashed after not one but two rounds of disappointing sex. Samantha said it best on Sex and the City, "Do me bad once shame on you, do me bad twice shame on me." But my friend is a bit of a hopeless romantic, so the whole boyfriend character was right up her alley. From my understanding she likes him but he is annoying as hell, not to mention lies so much. Like dude really must have self esteem issues because she can't even socialize without him claiming that he with some bitch in an attempt to make her jealous. I hate when dudes play with that spiteful ish, with me that is only adding fuel to the fire. Challenge me and I will raise you double. But like I said, my friend is a little more understanding. But when a so-called "relationship" is a headache after a few weeks, it is clearly a waste of time. I give it to her, she has more patience that I ever had. The fact that she even entertained this DV character, who has apparent bitch characteristics, is respectable. If you ask me, the ninja is a little suspect, pretty boys be on the DL these days. (He had questionable taste in sexual activity or so I've heard)

I never doubt that she truly liked him but little boys demand a lot of time, which is impossible when you have another life. Between school, family and trying to figure out which guys is right for her, she has very little times to play games. Let me explain something about me and my friends, we can be wifey material and still juggle more than one priority at a time. You can not put all your marbles in one barrel or bet it all on one, not a safe bet. The chances of him turning out to be more than what he looks like was a crap shoot. Maybe there is depth, maybe not.

The call was interesting, she seemed a little shaken up and confused. As I listen to her explain the past few weeks, I felt for her. I know firsthand what it feels like to try to make something work when the truth is that maybe it's not meant to be. The coward had nerve enough to text her that he was "done". I told her that no one wants anyone to call their bullshit card (which she had done on Friday) and that was probably what caused his bitchassness. He must've really gotten in somewhere because she was upset. But hey you live, you love, and sometimes you learn. I gave her some encouraging words explaining she really wasn't enriching her life by playing games with him. I mean dude couldn't hold an adult or intelligent conversation, his "D" game was officially wack, and he wasn't really doing much to inspire her. She explained that he was cute and she was bored, a lethal combination. I don't want to seem like a male basher, trust me as an official player I never hate, but homie needs work. His first mistake was even going there with her. Don't gas anyone up, like why lie? She is sweet but not necessarily someone to try to run game on. None of us are rookies at this point, please come correct. I respect game, I can't respect someone conducting themselves in a trick manner. "Oh what a tangle web we weave when we conspire to deceive." Apparently, he took advantage of the fact that she like him so she tolerated his BS tactics. (You wonder they call you bitch.....smh)

Hopefully, they will work it out because I really don't want this to break her spirit. My girl is a bit of a firecracker and is one flame away from going off. But if it really is done, then I recommend that she take one dose of Biggie's "Another" mixed with Kim's verse in "Get Money" and get the eff over it. Smh....I'm so tired of hearing about this boy but hey I would've risk a few hurt feelings for a little rendezvous. I knew he wasn't ish but I try to be optimistic that guys will be for real.(Yes, even I can be a hopeless romantic)

I'm impatient and slightly jaded which may mean that once my limbs become parallel, I'm done. Like Pac said, "Bury me a G."

Note: Got to be careful out here. Trust all instincts and intuition, they are never wrong.

Peace....B.

{{Refer to the previous Yacht and Sailboat post for the complete story}}

((EFF))) TMOBILE!!!!!

Anyone who has T Mobile knows that they are a worthless sack of caca phone service. I love my Sidekick, always have and I'm a paying customer BUT that does not leave me immune to those trumped up charges. If it wasn't for my Sidekick, I would've told them to kiss my ass. First of all, reception frickin' sucks and I drop calls all the damn time. Then they overcharge me and their customer service reps are beyond rude and ill equipped to answer any questions. Uuuggh!!! Never again. They can take this cancellation fee and shove it where the sun doesn't shine. I'm done.

Note: I'm selling my Sidekck...(again)

ALERT: CURRENT ARTIST IS M.I.A

Ok I love this girl but I don't know where the hell she went or what side of the earth she fell off of. The album was nice, she is beautiful and had a really different sound (think Santogold with a Soul/R&B twist). Where are you Res??

DISCLAIMER: ALL BLACK AND LATINO MEN DON'T LET NOKIA GET YOU ((EFFED)) UP

The Nokia Glock

This is merely a way to get Black people shot by the cops. A gun cell phone?? Word??

A Yacht and a Sailboat

As a young woman of a certain age and that's post puberty, I hear a lot of stories about young men. I mean it's no secret that women talk (obsess) about men but the greatest component of these talks are the radical discussions about sex. I hate that even after the Sex and the City era, it is still taboo for women to talk about sex. Let me explain and make it clear to the simpler species (particularly men and church ladies) that you are being reviewed everytime you decide to lay down with a person. Satisfactory, unsatisfactory, jack rabbit, tongue thruster, etc.; it's a reputation that can follow you forever. Be safe, be smart, be conscious, and be aware that if you did not put out your best, she told her girlfriends.

Let me tell you a story,

One lazy Saturday in Times Square, a young aspiring social decided to browse the $10 music shelves at a quite popular music venue. Not expecting to be bothered, she was approached by what she believed to be a teenager, turned out it was an employee. Off the bat, she knew that there was little monetary value in this little fellow but in desperate need of new conquest, she decided to do the unthinkable. Never does she ever give out the mainline, people stalk these days, but give him her number she did. She left feeling as if he would be cool as long as he kept his mouth shut. What was the purpose of him speaking? He would have been better off handing her a business card with his measurements and the results of his last clinic visit. This is New York, you never know, especially someone that is fresh off the immigration boat. But I digress.......

One afternoon over lunch, she explained to me that she got a strange text from this DV character. First of all, he waited two days which is like the oldest trick in the book. But tricks are for kids and this was definitely a kid. Anywayz, this DV character was a little devoid of personality but like I said who was thinking about talking. I understand where she was coming from, it was winter and that is an excellent way to accumulate heat. Plus, we were all trying to get it all in before we returned to the cornfields of the Midwest. I will say that there is something in the water in New York. Days later, a few texts turned into a few AIM conversations which turned into an awkward sleepover. So this DV character, seemed to be a yacht sailing on the Carribean breeze. It was like getting the my size Barbie doll on Christmas when every other girl got the regular doll. I was happy for her (and slightly jealous), she had found a true gem.

So........

Due to the fact that anything flying out of the New York had been pathetically delayed, I, like her, was stuck in Brooklyn for the remainder of the weekend which was the cherry on top of my Sunday. I was ready to leave behind my semester that consisted of a twisted menage a trois (metaphorically speaking) that I had participated in unwillingly. But at least, she would have time to play her new toy, some girls always seem to get so lucky. So while I was toasting to my final days of 2008 that I spent in New York, she was contemplating another rendezvous on the Caribbean Sea. I cheered her on, I encourage all exploitation of male sexuality. When she gets there, she would experience something that happens to eighty percent of women in their lifetime.

So this DV character lives in Brooklyn, Brooklyn boys have a reputation for talking shit. It is a crap shoot as to whether it turns out to be as good as they say it is. But considering he isn't really from Brooklyn, the offer seemed authentic. I was skeptical but I would never discourage anyone from getting the cutty, I'm never a player hater. But I will say I had my doubts. Who wants to take the subway at 1:00 in the morning? But we have all been there at least once. She gets there and awkward cannot even begin to describe the tension in the air. TO make this long story short, he pops this "official" bullshit. I guess to get in but that shit played out with incents. She entertains him, you want to say anything that will keep his flag swaying in the wind. She prepares herself for a long trip on his yacht. (Sorry that was the best metaphor I could give) Unfortunately, this trip was a little shorter than she had expected.

It starts to get hot and heavy, the yacht was just starting to pull out of the dock. the breeze was beautiful and she moved her body to the rhythm of the yacht. Just as she got into the groove, this two bit negro woke her up out of her pleasant dream. Turns out his cruise ship was simply a sailboat. Like this imposter couldn't even put in a good ten minutes before he was ready to roll his lazy ass over and go to sleep. Appalled and a little freaked out, she called me and I was disgusted. Now I believe in working with anyone but something like that can only be fixed with that little blue pill. Goddamn, he was only 19, apparently his junk was aging in dog years. Is this what the world has come to?? A world where guys that are barely out of puberty cannot even put in a decent amount of work. Poor thang, he was a fraud, a simple case of false advertisement. He should have labeled himself. WARNING: THIS APPEARS TO BE BETTER THAN IT IS. SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.

Effing imposter, smh, this really is a recession. Damn a girl cannot even depend on a good late night gentleman call. Damn shame, he didn't even get it out the gate. The worst part is that he blamed it on nerves. I wanted to be supportive but deep inside I was dying laughing. This young black Carribean man had zero game and used the oldest lines in the book. He had more excuses than a pregnant lesbian on Maury. Apparently Brooklyn doesn't always go hard.

Note to Self: Never pick up weird employees in a music store in Times Square. SMH

"He had a yacht with sailboat potential."

I love Yeezy but.......

SO...........

I love Kanye...for real. I think he is probably the most fascinating arrogant asshole on the planet. His style is the best in the game but.....seriously homie, have you bathed in the last week?? Besides the fact that he is dipped in red acrylic paint, the larger issue is that I envision he smells like wool now. What ever happened to the taco meat displaying, murse (man+purse) toting, clean, Yves Saint Laurent smelling (yes I've met him.....previous life) man??? It's that goddamn Lil Wayne, smh.....that little f*ck has made all rappers go grunge. The worst part is that he probably has on an outfit that costs a few stacks yet in still he didnt take the courtesy to wash his greasy face. He has replaced Jermaine Jackson as the greasiest negro in showbiz. Poor Yeezy, he needs a cold drink and a hot date.....in that case, "Where are you Yeezy?"