In the Last 24 hours, I have.......

So since the last time I was head over heels and got utterly crushed under the machine I have pretty much been closed. I have had setbacks, there were moments when I temporarily leaked feelings.

There was Jay, who i felt like was a God send, he was everything that Jerrell had failed to be. Above all things, he was beautiful and he was my friend. But his ambition is his first love and no amount of money he could give can replace time. I love him, always will but time is of the essence. There is nothing more important to me that time, my life revolves around it. I wish my Jellybean much love in L.A., and yes I considered leaving New York but to uproot my life for another man, well someone killed that option a long time ago.

So in the last 24 hours, I have slept in order to rush through time and hurry up and get the pain over with.

Amongst all my bad dates, it took a very confused young soul to make me realize that I was not the almighty Dallesia. For the most part, my looks were what seemesd to intrigue people but this was different. In this situation, I was altered mentally and had someone actually tap into who I was. Not since my beloved Dominic, had someone had the ability to finish my sentences and make me smile. But in my life, things of these sorts are too good to be true. At the end of the day, his girlfriend had his heart. In matters of the heart, the mind is irrelevant. I hate him for hurting my feelings but I love him for showing me that I still had them.

In the last 24 hours, I have thought about where we would have been in another life or another time.

So facebook peaked my curiousity when a certain Peter rabbit ran across my friend request box. Peter is like that Mars character in She's Gotta Have It, ironically a movie that we watched our first encounter. As a woman it is always the little things that count. His sincerity warms my heart. I don't know how many times he has reminded me that I am beautiful. I don't know how many times I have been having a horrid day and look down to see that he has wished me a good day. I cannot count how many times I'm wasting my time with someone who cannot even look me in the face and he sends me a smile. Sincere, that's him.

In the last 24 hours,I have had to learn to appreciate and realize what is obviously in front of my face.

Which brings me to the last of the last 24 hours,

To be continued...........................

When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong ((Under the Sheets))

So I love B and yes I am a stan but I never buy those photos that catch her coming from ambiguous places. She looks all exfoliated and then applied at least one coat of foundation by then. Like she is beautiful beyond all means but we all have those days. Here's a reality, now this I mess with, this is probably the closest that any of her fans will ever get as to seeing the woman behind the machine.

When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong

Ok she may be the black magic woman ((men are never the same when they are with her i.e. Andre 3000)) but my homeskillet Erykah kept it dumb funky. LOL

Don't Talk to Strangers

One of the fascinations with a city like New York is the fact that this city is full of people. There are 8 million people here accompanied by 8 million unique stories. In my short time here I have seen and experienced things that may not have been possible in the safe haven that Chicago built for me. But in the process of experiencing life you can step on a few land mines. Liars, thieves, cheaters, con artists, addicts, bitches, hoes, tricks etc. As reserved and introverted as I am, I also realize that coming from Chicago (or just cause who I am), I value being "real". People may mistake my walk, my talk or my musical taste for a New Yorker but I definitely don't live that lifestyle. Due to the high crime rate and that all walks of life occupy this city, residences have adapted to that gritty mentality. That the world is shit...deal with it theory. The truth is that the world is shit but it's about what you build in "your" world that makes a difference. Yes I live in Brooklyn but I live in Dallesia's world and make my own rules. If I want to be a conniving no good bitch then I accept those consequences. But because I mainly choose to be genuine, I have to accept that I will be hurt because every one does not live in my world. Now don't get me wrong or be ill conceived, I definitely am playing the game. I still try my best to stay to the essence of what I was taught. The best part about it is with every day and every new experience I get better. Practice makes perfect. Yes I will be hurt because it has been proven that I have questionable taste in men and friends. But I like to look at is something is keeping me on my toes. So when my mind drifts off into Dallesia's land, something snaps me out of it and places me back in Brooklyn, USA. Will I ever stop being me? Hell no, I've tried and it failed because what is done in the dark will come to light. I will say that I am 10 different things to 10 different people. So at the end of the day, what YOU decide to do to me will determine which person you get to know.

"I was told by a chief it's the games nature. When you're glowin' some will love and some will hate ya. It's real people."- Common


"When you've had filet mignon, it's kind of hard to go back to Hamburger Helper. It's your choice though baby. "--Jay-Z

I prefer the phrase, "All is fair in love and war."

At the end of the day, below the surface a person is a person. Be careful where you leave your feelings as a person and be even more cautious as who comes behinds you and pick them up.

In honor of the Miss America Pageant, "I just want world peace."

Peace and love

"MILK" in my Coffee

Today has been set aside to honor the memory of one of America's beloved leaders, Dr. Martin Luther King. A man that became a beacon of hope and humanity for all people of this great nation. In light of his courage and sacrifice, we honor him every year by preserving his memory and legacy.






This weekend I had the chance to see an awesome biopic on the life of Harvey Milk. The movie was brilliantly led by (in my opinion) of the greatest actors of all time, Sean Penn. The movie is based on the rise of the gay movement's own "Dr. King", Harvey Milk. He became the first openly gay man to be elected to public office. I became familiar with the story through an informative VH1 (yes VH1 can be educational) documentary "Sex: The Revoluton" and I was instantly amazed by his perserverance. He fought to uphold the human rights of gay people and fought for their dignity. For that he is an American hero.







{{Harvey Milk was gunned down on November 27, 1978 by former City Supervisor Dan White.}}

Notorious

Earlier, I urged people to go check out Notorious, a film based on the life of Notorious B.I.G., and I hope this weekend you managed to get a ticket. In New York, tickets have consistently sold out every day this weekend, especially in Brooklyn. What can I say Biggie loved New York and everyone went out to support their slain king. Overall, the cinematography was pretty impressive and the acting wasn't half bad. As for Jamal Woodard's portrayal of Biggie, I was impressed. He does not have the style and swagger of BIG (no one does) but he brought a human factor to the larger than life rapper. He was able to convey the wit and humor that people who knew BIG knew first hand. Antonique Smith, Naturi Naughton, Derek Luke and Angela Bassett were great supporting actors. I wasn't really in love with Anthony Mackie's portrayal of Tupac. I have studied these characters since childhood and is an official fanatic when it comes to Biggie and Pac, I didnt find any real connection between him and Pac. Also, the timeline of events in the movie were slightly altered for dramatic effect. I give it a complete and solid 4 out 5 stars.

FYI, I did go see it in Brooklyn (in my mink) and it was a beautiful thing. One guy suggested that this could be seen on bootleg. His friend responded with, "Nah this is Brooklyn, I'm supporting this."

P.S. the box office sales are going to be bananas, "We did it, Brooklyn we did it."

A Yacht and a Sailboat (Part Deux)

So it's 5:30 a.m. and I am awaken by a ring from my phone. Remember that friend I
told you about who had that little sailboat (maybe not little) situation, well apparently the plot thickens.

Ok, I totally do not encourage entering relationships with strangers but it gets boring in the winter time. To be honest, the situation should have been squashed after not one but two rounds of disappointing sex. Samantha said it best on Sex and the City, "Do me bad once shame on you, do me bad twice shame on me." But my friend is a bit of a hopeless romantic, so the whole boyfriend character was right up her alley. From my understanding she likes him but he is annoying as hell, not to mention lies so much. Like dude really must have self esteem issues because she can't even socialize without him claiming that he with some bitch in an attempt to make her jealous. I hate when dudes play with that spiteful ish, with me that is only adding fuel to the fire. Challenge me and I will raise you double. But like I said, my friend is a little more understanding. But when a so-called "relationship" is a headache after a few weeks, it is clearly a waste of time. I give it to her, she has more patience that I ever had. The fact that she even entertained this DV character, who has apparent bitch characteristics, is respectable. If you ask me, the ninja is a little suspect, pretty boys be on the DL these days. (He had questionable taste in sexual activity or so I've heard)

I never doubt that she truly liked him but little boys demand a lot of time, which is impossible when you have another life. Between school, family and trying to figure out which guys is right for her, she has very little times to play games. Let me explain something about me and my friends, we can be wifey material and still juggle more than one priority at a time. You can not put all your marbles in one barrel or bet it all on one, not a safe bet. The chances of him turning out to be more than what he looks like was a crap shoot. Maybe there is depth, maybe not.

The call was interesting, she seemed a little shaken up and confused. As I listen to her explain the past few weeks, I felt for her. I know firsthand what it feels like to try to make something work when the truth is that maybe it's not meant to be. The coward had nerve enough to text her that he was "done". I told her that no one wants anyone to call their bullshit card (which she had done on Friday) and that was probably what caused his bitchassness. He must've really gotten in somewhere because she was upset. But hey you live, you love, and sometimes you learn. I gave her some encouraging words explaining she really wasn't enriching her life by playing games with him. I mean dude couldn't hold an adult or intelligent conversation, his "D" game was officially wack, and he wasn't really doing much to inspire her. She explained that he was cute and she was bored, a lethal combination. I don't want to seem like a male basher, trust me as an official player I never hate, but homie needs work. His first mistake was even going there with her. Don't gas anyone up, like why lie? She is sweet but not necessarily someone to try to run game on. None of us are rookies at this point, please come correct. I respect game, I can't respect someone conducting themselves in a trick manner. "Oh what a tangle web we weave when we conspire to deceive." Apparently, he took advantage of the fact that she like him so she tolerated his BS tactics. (You wonder they call you bitch.....smh)

Hopefully, they will work it out because I really don't want this to break her spirit. My girl is a bit of a firecracker and is one flame away from going off. But if it really is done, then I recommend that she take one dose of Biggie's "Another" mixed with Kim's verse in "Get Money" and get the eff over it. Smh....I'm so tired of hearing about this boy but hey I would've risk a few hurt feelings for a little rendezvous. I knew he wasn't ish but I try to be optimistic that guys will be for real.(Yes, even I can be a hopeless romantic)

I'm impatient and slightly jaded which may mean that once my limbs become parallel, I'm done. Like Pac said, "Bury me a G."

Note: Got to be careful out here. Trust all instincts and intuition, they are never wrong.

Peace....B.

{{Refer to the previous Yacht and Sailboat post for the complete story}}

((EFF))) TMOBILE!!!!!

Anyone who has T Mobile knows that they are a worthless sack of caca phone service. I love my Sidekick, always have and I'm a paying customer BUT that does not leave me immune to those trumped up charges. If it wasn't for my Sidekick, I would've told them to kiss my ass. First of all, reception frickin' sucks and I drop calls all the damn time. Then they overcharge me and their customer service reps are beyond rude and ill equipped to answer any questions. Uuuggh!!! Never again. They can take this cancellation fee and shove it where the sun doesn't shine. I'm done.

Note: I'm selling my Sidekck...(again)

Winter Vacay

So......

10 things I did this WTR Break:

1. Thanks to my Cow, I modeled sneakers.

2. Cut off contact with my ex and then got a new BF (technically)

3. Partied.... (Ummm hellz yeah)

4. Got kissed by a girl (and fondled)... (No I did not respond, I walked away)

5. Listened to my little brother discuss "Gold" wrappers (awkward)

6. Got another haircut.

7. Re-established friendship with my "buddy"... (we're keeping it PG)

8. Drank enormous quantities of liquor ( refer to #3 and #4)

9. Fell in love with my little cousin (Vallesia Darriana Richardson born April 27th, 2006)

10. Had a blast not doing anything but be myself.

LMAO....BTB in action

So my good my pal, Naiquan , reminded me of my carefree summer moments hanging out in the warm streets of Chicago. ::sigh:: Oh those summer nights. Im an adult now, my summers will consist of slave labor attached to substandard pay linked to a little ass kissing (better known as internships). C'est la vie.

ALERT: CURRENT ARTIST IS M.I.A

Ok I love this girl but I don't know where the hell she went or what side of the earth she fell off of. The album was nice, she is beautiful and had a really different sound (think Santogold with a Soul/R&B twist). Where are you Res??

DISCLAIMER: ALL BLACK AND LATINO MEN DON'T LET NOKIA GET YOU ((EFFED)) UP

The Nokia Glock

This is merely a way to get Black people shot by the cops. A gun cell phone?? Word??

Random

B.I.G. is making this cream
Bitches always say what the hell does that mean?
B is for the bitches, who can't understand
How one fly nigga became a man
I is for the way it goes in and out
One by one I knocks em out
G is for the way the game goes in the gutter
Other MC's man they ain't sayin nuthin
Rockin on, to the break of dawn
Meet the bitch get the pussy get the mouth I'm gone

What?
It ain't no more to it

{{Notorious B.I.G.---Life After Death---B.I.G. Interlude}}

Hot N Cold

You know how you could be sitting thinking about something an all of a sudden something comes on T.V. explaining everything. So, I'm sitting at my laptop wondering what the hell is wrong with me and this boy when I turn on the T.V. and stop at MTV Hits. Like magic, here comes Katy Perry's video for her song Hot N Cold. Internally, I want to be serious but I just get a feeling that something is not authentic. For one, it is very hot and cold, one minute we're hot then the next minute I'm turned off. Who knows where this is leading to. I just hope for the best but is mos def prepared for the worst.

{{Katy Perry is a breakthrough pop artist famous for her hit single "I Kissed A Girl"}}

Urgent!!!

So Friday, January 16th, 2009, the movie Notorious will be released in theaters across America. The film is about the life of one of the greatest rappers of all time and the ORIGINAL King of New York, the Notorious B.I.G. The film ambitiously cast Jamal Woodard in the lead role. I get the point, physically he is Biggie but I won't make complete judgment til I see the movie. Although after seeing the previews, I have high hopes for Derek Luke's (Antwone Fisher) portrayal of Sean "Diddy" Combs. I'm still not sold on Naturi Naughton (3LW) as Lil Kim, but like I had said I will wait and see. Also, Angela Bassett will play the role of Voletta Wallace, Biggie's mother.

My biggest struggle is whether to go see it in Brooklyn, do it up BK Bed-Stuy style in honor of the late great Frank White. But I know ninjas are going to try and act a damn fool. I'm never in the mood to deal with ignorant ish, I actually want to be able to see it in peace. I might just have to pay that twelve dollars twice: Once for the experience and once to actually see the movie.

Either way it goes I am happy to see the celebration of such a great life and a musical genius. I mean for you crank ass rap fans who think rappers now have "swag", well here's who reinvented it for his generation.

We did it Brooklyn we did it. - Biggie

Artist Profile: N.E.R.D.

In my fragile musical state (My Ipod erased errything I had), I am (re)discovering
bands that I have overlooked to make room for new music. Like I love music with all my heart and I'm an official hip head (try me, so I get in modes and sometimes abandon and neglect certain music for a period of time. On my journey, I have blew the dust off of my N.E.R.D. joints and have completely fell in love all over again. It's like when you get divorced and remarried. From Rockstar to Baby Doll to Run to the Sun or the entire Seeing Sounds album, I am completely in an ethereal wasteland. It reminds me of high school when I hung out with a "Downtown" sorta crowd and listened to 70's rock. N.E.R.D. is nothing more than the musical stylings of say Heart mixed with the B Boy style of Special ED. Plus Pharrell is the epitome of the type of guy I'm looking for at the present moment. So if he is on the other side of the door then I will join "ALL THE GIRLS STANDING IN THE LINE FOR THE BATHROOM"

Blogger's Note:

I realized that in the process of expressing myself, I can be very cruel to the people that are my subjects. Unless, it is something positive, I try to stay away from real names but I'm sure the people in my life can decipher who I am talking about. My purpose is not to expose anyone but to simply entertain and be able to express thoughts that I usually keep to myself. This Barbie character and Dallesia are not the same person. But I do feel it is my responsibility to take into account people's feelings and reactions. It's just a blog. I always "got a story to tell" and I'm happy to tell it but sometimes it is at the expense of some people's feelings. I don't ever regret anything I say because these are real situations and emotions but I know it probably feels different on the other side of the computer screen.....and for that I apologize.

Sincerely,
Dallesia Payton

A Yacht and a Sailboat

As a young woman of a certain age and that's post puberty, I hear a lot of stories about young men. I mean it's no secret that women talk (obsess) about men but the greatest component of these talks are the radical discussions about sex. I hate that even after the Sex and the City era, it is still taboo for women to talk about sex. Let me explain and make it clear to the simpler species (particularly men and church ladies) that you are being reviewed everytime you decide to lay down with a person. Satisfactory, unsatisfactory, jack rabbit, tongue thruster, etc.; it's a reputation that can follow you forever. Be safe, be smart, be conscious, and be aware that if you did not put out your best, she told her girlfriends.

Let me tell you a story,

One lazy Saturday in Times Square, a young aspiring social decided to browse the $10 music shelves at a quite popular music venue. Not expecting to be bothered, she was approached by what she believed to be a teenager, turned out it was an employee. Off the bat, she knew that there was little monetary value in this little fellow but in desperate need of new conquest, she decided to do the unthinkable. Never does she ever give out the mainline, people stalk these days, but give him her number she did. She left feeling as if he would be cool as long as he kept his mouth shut. What was the purpose of him speaking? He would have been better off handing her a business card with his measurements and the results of his last clinic visit. This is New York, you never know, especially someone that is fresh off the immigration boat. But I digress.......

One afternoon over lunch, she explained to me that she got a strange text from this DV character. First of all, he waited two days which is like the oldest trick in the book. But tricks are for kids and this was definitely a kid. Anywayz, this DV character was a little devoid of personality but like I said who was thinking about talking. I understand where she was coming from, it was winter and that is an excellent way to accumulate heat. Plus, we were all trying to get it all in before we returned to the cornfields of the Midwest. I will say that there is something in the water in New York. Days later, a few texts turned into a few AIM conversations which turned into an awkward sleepover. So this DV character, seemed to be a yacht sailing on the Carribean breeze. It was like getting the my size Barbie doll on Christmas when every other girl got the regular doll. I was happy for her (and slightly jealous), she had found a true gem.

So........

Due to the fact that anything flying out of the New York had been pathetically delayed, I, like her, was stuck in Brooklyn for the remainder of the weekend which was the cherry on top of my Sunday. I was ready to leave behind my semester that consisted of a twisted menage a trois (metaphorically speaking) that I had participated in unwillingly. But at least, she would have time to play her new toy, some girls always seem to get so lucky. So while I was toasting to my final days of 2008 that I spent in New York, she was contemplating another rendezvous on the Caribbean Sea. I cheered her on, I encourage all exploitation of male sexuality. When she gets there, she would experience something that happens to eighty percent of women in their lifetime.

So this DV character lives in Brooklyn, Brooklyn boys have a reputation for talking shit. It is a crap shoot as to whether it turns out to be as good as they say it is. But considering he isn't really from Brooklyn, the offer seemed authentic. I was skeptical but I would never discourage anyone from getting the cutty, I'm never a player hater. But I will say I had my doubts. Who wants to take the subway at 1:00 in the morning? But we have all been there at least once. She gets there and awkward cannot even begin to describe the tension in the air. TO make this long story short, he pops this "official" bullshit. I guess to get in but that shit played out with incents. She entertains him, you want to say anything that will keep his flag swaying in the wind. She prepares herself for a long trip on his yacht. (Sorry that was the best metaphor I could give) Unfortunately, this trip was a little shorter than she had expected.

It starts to get hot and heavy, the yacht was just starting to pull out of the dock. the breeze was beautiful and she moved her body to the rhythm of the yacht. Just as she got into the groove, this two bit negro woke her up out of her pleasant dream. Turns out his cruise ship was simply a sailboat. Like this imposter couldn't even put in a good ten minutes before he was ready to roll his lazy ass over and go to sleep. Appalled and a little freaked out, she called me and I was disgusted. Now I believe in working with anyone but something like that can only be fixed with that little blue pill. Goddamn, he was only 19, apparently his junk was aging in dog years. Is this what the world has come to?? A world where guys that are barely out of puberty cannot even put in a decent amount of work. Poor thang, he was a fraud, a simple case of false advertisement. He should have labeled himself. WARNING: THIS APPEARS TO BE BETTER THAN IT IS. SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.

Effing imposter, smh, this really is a recession. Damn a girl cannot even depend on a good late night gentleman call. Damn shame, he didn't even get it out the gate. The worst part is that he blamed it on nerves. I wanted to be supportive but deep inside I was dying laughing. This young black Carribean man had zero game and used the oldest lines in the book. He had more excuses than a pregnant lesbian on Maury. Apparently Brooklyn doesn't always go hard.

Note to Self: Never pick up weird employees in a music store in Times Square. SMH

"He had a yacht with sailboat potential."