In the Last 24 hours, I have.......

So since the last time I was head over heels and got utterly crushed under the machine I have pretty much been closed. I have had setbacks, there were moments when I temporarily leaked feelings.

There was Jay, who i felt like was a God send, he was everything that Jerrell had failed to be. Above all things, he was beautiful and he was my friend. But his ambition is his first love and no amount of money he could give can replace time. I love him, always will but time is of the essence. There is nothing more important to me that time, my life revolves around it. I wish my Jellybean much love in L.A., and yes I considered leaving New York but to uproot my life for another man, well someone killed that option a long time ago.

So in the last 24 hours, I have slept in order to rush through time and hurry up and get the pain over with.

Amongst all my bad dates, it took a very confused young soul to make me realize that I was not the almighty Dallesia. For the most part, my looks were what seemesd to intrigue people but this was different. In this situation, I was altered mentally and had someone actually tap into who I was. Not since my beloved Dominic, had someone had the ability to finish my sentences and make me smile. But in my life, things of these sorts are too good to be true. At the end of the day, his girlfriend had his heart. In matters of the heart, the mind is irrelevant. I hate him for hurting my feelings but I love him for showing me that I still had them.

In the last 24 hours, I have thought about where we would have been in another life or another time.

So facebook peaked my curiousity when a certain Peter rabbit ran across my friend request box. Peter is like that Mars character in She's Gotta Have It, ironically a movie that we watched our first encounter. As a woman it is always the little things that count. His sincerity warms my heart. I don't know how many times he has reminded me that I am beautiful. I don't know how many times I have been having a horrid day and look down to see that he has wished me a good day. I cannot count how many times I'm wasting my time with someone who cannot even look me in the face and he sends me a smile. Sincere, that's him.

In the last 24 hours,I have had to learn to appreciate and realize what is obviously in front of my face.

Which brings me to the last of the last 24 hours,

To be continued...........................